March 09, 2004

 boyfriends: jeff d. and derek w. 

jeff d. and derek w. sophomore year of high school.

so after sweet fred, i went back to rebelling with risky behavior. don't get me wrong, i was still a virgin... i was simply anxious about being a virgin.

jeff was in the band, too. he was really cute, but he was totally goofy in a dorky way. he played drums, but had no sense of rhythm. i think a lot of girls were simultaneously attracted to and repelled by him. i was one of them.

i think the onslaught of male attention that year was causing a number of guys to take interest in me. i must have had a scent. i could tell that there were boys who were curious, but jeff caught me by surprise.

during a break in band practice one night, he asked if i wanted to go down the hall to get a drink of water with him. i said "sure!", feeling happy for the attention but also slightly apprehensive; he & i had never really spent any time alone before.

we walked the long, deserted hallway and got to the water fountain. he took a drink. then i bent down and took a drink. and as soon as my head popped up he grabbed me by the shoulders, drew me to him, and gave me my first french kiss. it was totally startling, and frankly kind of gross.

still, i had been kissed by a cute boy and after i got over the shock i was not unhappy that it happened.

clearly, though, jeff ran off and told his best friend derek, because not a week later derek was inviting me up to the catwalks above the stage for a little rendezvous. i don't think i can bring myself to share the details of that tryst... i walked away in a daze, feeling a bit violated, a bit more experienced, but still a virgin.

things were beginning to move really fast.

Posted by xta at March 9, 2004 02:07 PM | TrackBack
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