even though alan warned me against it, i did fool around with leroy a little bit. but leroy reminded me a little of david lee roth and his advances were way scarier than alan's... it totally freaked me out and i didn't stick around with him very long.
it's worth noting that i was not a very happy girl during this period of my life. my dad had remarried and i was not getting along with his wife at all. she & i would shout and fight every day. the guys i flirted with during this time were definitely "bad boys". and there were a lot of them. not at all good for me. take that, dad!
but then i met fred.
fred m. sophomore year of high school.
fred played baritone in the band. we had lived in the same complex of townhouses for many years when we were younger, but didn't realize it until we started dating in high school.
he was the funniest guy i had ever known. he laughed all the time. he made everyone else laugh. but he wasn't a clown and he wasn't self-depricating... he was just sweetly funny. it was a delight to be around him. he wasn't great-looking, though, so i think he was as happy to have a girlfriend as i was to finally have sweet boyfriend. we both felt pretty comfortable with each other (while, of course, still being totally awkward teenagers).
i remember thinking "this is my first real boyfriend." i liked him a lot. a lot. so much, in fact, that i was honestly really physically attracted to him. a lot of guys had scared me with their advances, but with fred i wasn't frightened. i even felt a little secure.
we'd go over to his house after school, then on the way up to his room we'd tell his mom we were studying (do they ever really fall for that??), and then lie down on top of each other --fully clothed-- and just wriggle around in a way that felt really good. we carried on this way for probably 3 or 4 months. it was sweet. he even took me to a dance.
i don't remember how it all fell apart, but i'll bet that i pushed him too hard. i do remember having an argument with him after band practice one night, which ended with him shouting at me in the parking lot. i probably complained that he wasn't spending all of his free time with me or something... i was always doing that.
when we finally broke up, i cried and cried.
Posted by xta at March 7, 2004 12:03 PM | TrackBack