alan l. sophomore year of high school.
there's a big gap in my love life between 3rd grade (david) and 10th grade (alan), and i'm not really sure why.
actually, i did have a frighteningly obsessive crush on my band teacher all through middle school; that must've sucked up all of my young hormonal lust for a couple of years. (in fact, when i went digging through all of my treasure boxes to find my boyfriends' love notes, i also came across countless hall passes that my band director had written to get me out of study hall every day. i may have had a foolish, madly consuming crush on him, but he was definitely an enabler.)
oof. i should probably do a whole entry on that band director, but i'm getting the shakes just thinking of the trauma that whole period caused me.
so back to alan:
alan was 2 years older than me. i was a naive little sophomore and he was a very experienced senior. we lived in the same subdivision and it was hard not to notice him in his bright orange nova. he was friends with my best friend, lynn (who later de-friended me in the most dramatic way; that story comes later); i'm pretty sure she was the one who introduced us.
again, this relationship started off with notes written back & forth. i knew he wasn't the brightest bulb in the box, but he had a car and he was older and therefore more exciting... so who cared how smart he was?
the notes he wrote were pages full of nothing. (the one above is far & away the most substantive of those i've saved.) they're not nearly as palpatation-inducing as david's, oh-so-long-ago. (though this one says "i guess you can call our relationship as we are dating," whatever that means. i suppose i had cornered alan into defining what we were doing. typical.)
so, our 'relationship' consisted primarily of me hanging out at his house, which was always creepily dark (and his mom was never home). i really didn't like being there very much. i felt kind of unsafe for some reason. not that he'd ever hurt me, but i was just uneasy about... well, you know.
i do remember driving around the neighborhood with him once. it was dusk and my parents were probably wondering where i was. he parked down the street so that my dad wouldn't see the orange car. we sat there in silence for a few minutes, awkward, before he slid towards me on the bench seat. i remember him kissing me, but it was sofast and then i was out of there and walking quickly back towards my house. it was my first real kiss and it was slightly traumatic.
reading his other notes in my treasure box, it seems like alan and i just stopped "dating" without cause or explanation. one of the notes warns me against a friend of his, leroy, who was "a ladies man"... so i guess alan and i just drifted apart as i became interested in other guys.
i do remember that alan got one of the lead roles in the school's production of "the music man" that year, and that i was proud of him.
Posted by xta at March 5, 2004 02:37 PM | TrackBack