January 05, 2004

 ruth

for years, i've been a client of ruth's. i met her years ago (1998?) when my then-therapist recommended i go see a vocational counselor. i was making myself miserable in a job i hated, and i needed some concrete direction (more direction than the therapist could offer with his "how-did-your-father's-absence-cause-you-to-get-here" schtick).

ruth is a 'life coach'. that sounds terribly touchy-feely, i know. what she really does is help people figure out what they want out of life, and then helps them create a plan to get it. she started out as a vocational counselor, but quickly migrated into her own coaching business shortly after i met her. because i was one of her very first coaching clients she cut me an amazing deal on her fee.

coaching happens by phone and email. i have probably seen ruth less than 10 times in person since i've known her; i feel like she's one of my best friends but i am hardly ever around her. the phone calls with ruth happen weekly, and she's also open to talking whenever i "need" her. (i've needed last-minute help/advice every now and then, so it's nice to know someone is just a phone call away when you need some grounding.)

she's helped me find my ideal job. she's helped me come to terms with how money affects my life and happiness. she's helped me figure out what kind of man i want. she even helped me nail down the requirements i needed in a house. (let's not forget that she was the one who even made me realize that i could buy a house!) in short, she's been my source of inner strength for a long time. i feel like i've grown immensely since our relationship began.

but over the last few months our phone calls have become almost gossipy. chatty. i catch her up to date on what my mom is up to, what's going on with the people in my office, and how things are with my boyfriend. she also tells me about the things going on in her life. of course, whenever i'm facing a big issue we do talk it out, but those instances are becoming more and more infrequent.

so this morning, during our weekly call, i suggested to ruth that maybe we should call it quits. both of us cried a little (and i'm getting teary right now, just recalling it) but she agreed that i've achieved all of my goals, and there's little reason to keep going. (especially when i can use her monthly fee towards the purchase of my new furnace. i tell you, she really did instill in me a lot of fiscal responsibility! :^)

i'm really going to miss talking with ruth. she has a wonderful way of making me see complicated situations in a totally clear, simple light... and i'll hate not having her vision just 7 phone buttons away. but hopefully i've learned enough during my time with her to be able to come up with my own answer to "what would ruth suggest?" questions that i encounter.

we have 2 more calls scheduled. she's asked me to prepare a kind of 'retrospective' of all of my accomplishments while i've been with her; that's going to be a very emotional thing to do.

i think that after our final phone call, i'm going to paste her motto --"PLAY BIGGER"-- to my computer monitor. or write it on a sticky note and post it on the bathroom mirror. or something. i just don't want to forget the way she makes me think.

Posted by xta at January 5, 2004 12:38 PM | TrackBack
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