stop this car i'm getting out

dear jonathan-

i love you. you know that. for years i have admired your clever songs and --let's face it-- your weird geekiness. i will probably listen to your records until i die. i'm a fan.

but where's the reciprocation? i felt very unloved last night and i don't know if i can see you again.

don't get me wrong... the songs were great. i smiled, i laughed, i clapped and hollered. but it quickly became evident that something was amiss. the temperature in the club began to rise, sweat started pouring from pores, and i looked up at the motionless ceiling fan and willed it to come on.

within 30 minutes of your arrival on stage i began to think more about my sweat than your music. it became the central focus of my brain. "i am sweating," my brain would think. "a lot. too much." it was ridiculous. as rivers of perspiration ran down my back all sense of fun slid off of me.

and the thing is, i normally wouldn't hold this against any artist. but i learned that you, in your contract, specficially demand that the fans and the A/C remain off during your show.

what the...?!?

jonathan, i've seen you in concert several times, but i never remember sweating this much before. is this new?? do you really want people to get woozy at your shows?

i had to leave early last night. i felt gross. i stumbled out of the club, got in my air conditioned car and drove to the nearest ice cream store.

(where, incidentally, i was accosted by a homeless person so canny that i found myself giving him $5 before i realized what i was doing.)

so jonathan, love, please reconsider. turn the A/C on next time you come back to town and i'll be there.

love,
xta

Posted by xta at June 14, 2005 11:42 AM | TrackBack