last week, while i was down with the stomach bug, i read from cover to cover a book called "the yes man." i had bought it on a whim just before my trip, not having any idea how deeply it would affect me.
the author, danny wallace, a young and geeky-hip londoner, happens to meet a man on a bus who tells him, "you should say yes more." and so he does... just like that, danny decided to say yes to EVERYTHING. it's amazing to read how his life changes -- he accepts every social invitation, meets interesting people on the street, and winds up in odd meetings (some of which actually lead to a promotion and his own show on the BBC). his mind is opened. he's experiencing life. it's a fascinating journey.
it helps that the book reads like a goofy novel. he makes ridiculous puns and silly jokes, and tells his story as if it belonged in an episode of 'this american life.' only he's british.
at the conclusion of the book i found myself weeping with joy. his story is incredibly inspirational. even though he goes through some profound struggles with saying yes, he made me want to say yes more, too.
saying yes, though, is difficult. "do you want to go to the rock show tonight?" for instance is something danny would say yes to, but which i have difficulty consistently answering in the affirmative. i always come up with excuses (i'm tired, i don't want to travel that far, i don't have any money) and wind up just sitting on the couch. danny forced himself to say yes, even when every fiber of his being was saying no, and he wound up in some unbelievably beautiful situations.
i'm now a diehard danny wallace fangirl and am reading the book he wrote before "the yes man." it's called "join me" and it's the story of how he started his own cult, by simply placing an ad in the paper that said, "join me!" with no other explanation. just a call to join him... for nothing specific.
Posted by xta at March 23, 2006 02:30 PM | TrackBackSounds interesting. I think I would have a hard time saying yes all the time, probably to my own detriment.
Posted by: lainey at March 23, 2006 02:47 PMInteresting. I actually started a similar campaign a couple of years ago along similar lines but narrower in scope. Basically, if it involves making and/or participating in music, in some way, shape or form, I say yes. I can't say anything earth shattering has come of it, but it has led to me joining the Wusses and the resurrection of Captain Saturn. Things that a big part of me was reluctant or scared to do, that have definitely been a net positive.
Posted by: rossi at March 23, 2006 03:13 PMi do want to read this-- i am interested to see how he deals with the issue of overcommitment.
Posted by: lisa at March 23, 2006 04:39 PMlisa-
he mentions having to carefully juggle appointments, but he doesn't really "tackle" the issue of overcommittment in the manner you're concerned about it: over-extending oneself.
the way in which the book is written (very novel-esque) it seems that all of his committments just kind of fall into place. i'm sure the nitty gritty of his life was a bit more messy than he depicts in the book.
he does, however, say "yes" to all the spam that enters his inbox (resulting in amazing penis patches and such), which i'd certainly draw the line at if i were to undertake this project. ;-)
Posted by: christa at March 23, 2006 05:12 PMNow I really want to read that book. I would imagine you would lose a lot of money if you really did say 'yes' to everything.
Posted by: marianne at March 23, 2006 05:59 PMSo Christa . . . are you coming to the rock show tonight?
another possible caveat came up today: the scammers who go door to door in our neighborhoods and ask to use the phone or for some water, typically so they can pilfer wallets or anything else that's convenient.
saying yes to a rock show is a far cry from knowingly allowing someone to steal from you. i dunno.
Posted by: lisa at March 23, 2006 08:11 PMmarianne-
YES did cost him a lot of money. thankfully he also said YES to all the credit card offers that came his way. ;-) that is another interesting issue he addresses.
minty-
i said NO to the rock show. just too pooped to party. guess i need to do more work on my YESibility
lisa-
you pose interesting questions about the yes man.
danny *did* actually do stupid things like respond to the nigerian bank scam, saying that YES he would help. he was smart enough not to give his bank information, but instead went to the amsterdam address provided on one of the emails. it turned into an interesting escapade.
he also responded YES to all of the street panhandlers who asked him for money, as well as all of the people wanting him to sign petitions and whatnot. he ended up talking to some really interesting people.
i guess with YES you have to protect yourself while still remaining open to the possibilities. a fine balancing act.
oh-
and i'm willing to lend the book to whoever wants to borrow it.
I've been doing something similar in the last couple years, but not to the overwhelming degree described in this book.
Basically, I say yes to anything that piques my interest or creates that little internal leap of "ooo!"
I then ruthlessly ignore all the internal nay-saying that sometimes (often, always) comes up afterwards. After leading my life way too carefully, this has been loosening up some interesting paths in my "mid-life transition." It's very freeing!! I like to call this Life Improv!! lol
My rule after that is to not lose sight of my enthusiasm or inspiration. Sorta like the Ben & Jerry's slogan--if it's not fun, why do it? There are plenty of things I now say, "sorry, no" to because they don't give me that leap of enthusiasm. That's the other side of it for me.
But how very cool to open up to everything life (the good, bad, and weird) has to offer!
Posted by: erthsister at March 23, 2006 11:12 PMI havent read the book. I would hazard a guess that this is an affirmation of the concept: You Get Back What you Put Fort.... Namely, positve energy begets positive energy; negative energy begets negative energy. Or as MY Moma used to say: In order to make a friend ya gotta be a friend.
Posted by: mommy at March 24, 2006 03:39 PMSo, are you completely spineless?
Yes.
And overcommitted?
Yes.
Trusted by no one?
Yes.
Not getting any?
Yes. :-)